Ah, those test results....

....told me shit.

I've got to have the whole process done over again. Yay me!
But the good news was that the few samples they did manage to pull were nice and clean.

Gotta look at the positive, right?

danger, danger, high voltage!

We had a fire drill today.

Now normally, I'm all excited at the thought of getting out of the office for a bit, but not today. Nope. Why? Cause it's snowy and fuckin' miserable out. Yeah. I even busted out the cell phone, huddled in a warm corner and made some business calls. I never do shit like that. But the radiation from my cellie kept my brain kinda warm.

So now I'm back in the building and warm. Nice and toasty. And very thankful I brought my new cardigan along with me. Yay! And I've got a "business" lunch in 10 minutes with a co-worker that I adore and respect. Yee haw!
This day is the bestest!
Probably because tomorrow will suck donkey dick. That's right. Tomorrow is the day I get my test results.

Poop.

Now before you go and say that it's all gonna be okay, keep this in mind...I have been freaking out on and off for 2 months over this whole thing. I will cry regardless of what the results are, because in my mind, 2 months of not knowing are coming to a possibly glorious end. It's kinda crazy fucked up insane.

Right. I'm gonna go and do something or other and then wander off for an extended lunch. Yay me!

And when my back hurts, I always think of this quote:

"I'd do it, but I threw out my back humpin' your mom. Snootch."

Yeah. I'm mature, I know.

I'm no air Jordan

Yeah, so last night I played my first game of basketball in too long. I also had my first hour long hot bath in a long time. Dudes, I hurt. I am no longer the lean, mean, fighting machine I used to be. Now, I am a sluggish, somewhat asthmatic, still mean, fighting machine. Dang. Who knew playing half court would be so killer? All that running back and forth. All that jumping around. All that sweating.

Yes, I will be going back next Tuesday for I am hooked.

Oy, my back.

This post brought to you by the word "fuck"

Must toss piece of shit Weasel Central out the motherfucking window of Weasel Central. Now.

I've been working on the same mofo report for the last fucking hour. And in the last fucking hour I have had to restart that report at least 6 times. Couldn't save it, either, so I've had to start from scratch each time. Why? Because my fuckin' ghetto shit computer doesn't have enough memory. Dude, I have TWO applications open and you're already out of virtual memory?!?!?!?

Fuck.

Yup. I'm alive. Very uncomfortable, but alive.

2 ultrasounds.

7 needles (instead of 8, aren't I the lucky one?).

10 minutes.

1 relieved Ren.

1 quiet evening with the gal.

Ta da. Today is gonna be a quiet day. I've already told my manager (yes, I'm chilling out at Weasel Central again) that I'm just gonna sit at my desk and be cranky all day. He seemed cool with that. Not that he had a choice.

The doctor said it's gonna hurt to do the following today:
-laugh
-cough
-yawn
and my personal favourite.....swallow.

Um, yeah.

I think my eyes are bleeding cause I'm that effin' tired.

I stopped freaking out around 2.30 this morning.
And then I had the uncomfortable sleep of the dead. Yay me!

Yeah, I'm here at Weasel Central "chilling out". That is if sitting stiffly in a crappy office chair constitues chilling out.

At 2.00 this afternoon, I will calmly get up and walk out of the office & down to the underground, where I will nestle into my gal's car and try to think happy thoughts until I get to the hospital. Once there, I will crack completely crude and inappropriate jokes and no one will chide me for being an insensitive arsehole. That will be my favourite part of the day. Then I'll go and let some techie guy do an ultrasound and stick a needle in my throat. Then I'll go home and nestle into my sofa with my gal and ignore the outside world. And tomorrow, I will wake up, thank the Universe for not killing me off (Ha nice try, you fuckwads!) and head back to Weasel Central to spread my kind of joy. Sounds like a plan.

I promise that those truly in the know will be called/emailed/texted poste haste. Thanks to all y'all out there for your supportive comments & emails. I love you fuckers.

Uh huh

Today is one of those days. I had a crud sleep, mainly cause my stress level is elevating rapidly and I'm kinda cranky (though how that differs from regular days, I'll never know). Tomorrow is the day. I'm not looking forward to it. But you already knew that.

In other news: the gal is in a good mood. And I'm fuckin' stylin'. Awww yeah. Compliments a go-go. But I think it's cause I'm wearing a total hooch shirt. The buttons keep popping and I keep showing off my personality. Dammit. The helper monkeys ("Minion" is so 2003) keep staring at my cleavage. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Oh who am I kidding? I freakin' love it.

Wow. My productivity is at an all time low. I just took an office chair for a walk. Methinks it's time to start thinking about going home. Yes indeedy do.

I was gonna post a complaint to the Universe, but I feel that it's a tad overdone. I'm going to make this the year I ignore the Universe. Cause maybe then my luck might turn around. Just maybe.

Other than that, um, yeah. I got up early and went to the gym. Along with all of those "I will go back to the gym in 2004" people. Y'know, the ones who hog all your favourite machines. Yeah. Them.

My gal's rocking the PMS today. And she's kinda weepy meaner than a bucking bronco. Which means I have to stay away from her unless I want her reduced to tears to rip my fucking face off and eat it for lunch in the office. *sigh*

Only 2 more days until I get ye olde needle in ye olde throat. I'm still not calm about this. In the least. So in the meantime, I'm keeping myself somewhat distracted by picking on the Weasel Central minions. And a few Weasel Central supervisors. Nothing brings a smile to my face like tearing a strip offa someone. Yee haw.

This month's motto?
January 2004....the year Ren got leaner and meaner.
Buah ha ha.

Return of the insanity

Howdy, and hope y'all had a rockin' New Years.

Yeah, I'm still around. Managed to chill out with friends, family & other loved ones all of last week. It was beautiful. There's nothing like ringing in the new year with some of those nearest and dearest to you.

Slept in for days. Wandered around the city, fed a Von Trapp family size of cats (mine included). Basically enjoyed shit.

Hung out with the gal for days and taught her how to play video games while I learned how to relax.

Of course, as of this morning, the relaxation is totally gone.
Got a call this morning from the hospital. Found out that I can get a much earlier appointment for some pretty big tests. Yeah. Went from having an appointment for the 26th of January to having an appointment for this fucking Thursday. Uh huh. I'm happy that it's earlier, but I'm also shitting myself. It was one thing when I didn't really have to worry about anything for the longest while. Now it's here. Dang. How do you sike yourself up to get a needle in the throat? Anyone?

Thankfully I've got a kick ass group of friends who are incredibly supportive over this whole thing.

As for the Universe, thanks, I think. Though I must admit that I'm still a wee bit peeved with the Universe for getting me in this predicament in the first place.

I honestly know I'll be okay, but in the meantime, I'm just gonna sit over here and freak the fuck out.